I’m feeling clucky.
It’s a word that does not seem to exist in North America. It means maternal. Like a mother hen.
We’re definitely not at a stage in our relationship where we should have a child. There are financial reasons: there is a small amount of uncertainty whether Wife will have a job next year. There are immigration reasons: I’m not a permanent resident yet. There are personal reasons: we want to wholeheartedly enjoy our time as a couple and I still have some growing up to do.
However, I am so excited that we are starting to talk about starting a family. I am so excited that we are talking about a timeline. I am so excited that we are talking about pregnancy. I am so excited that we are talking about childbirth. I am so excited that we are talking about how to raise our children.
Unfortunately, Wife and I tend to overanalyse. We second guess our motives for having children. What is a good reason to start a family? Is it enough that we love each other and think that we have a lot to offer a child? What is it exactly that we can offer a child? What if we don’t have enough to offer our child? Why do we want a biological child? Are we too selfish to be parents? Are these normal questions? Should we even have children if we have these questions?
There are no easy answers. However, I am going to invest in some lesbian TTC books. I am going to think long and hard about the qualities and habits I want to cultivate in myself before I become a parent. I’m also going to think long and hard about the questions and doubts that I have.
Do you want children?